I am currently reading a book by Charles Martin called "Where the River Ends". This paragraph just made me laugh and spoke to me. It made me think I should write out my thoughts and observations on being a southern girl living in New York.
"One of the great things about growing up in the sticks was the ignorance. Country people aren't dumb and certainly not stupid. We pride ourselves on common sense and more than one of us have aced the SAT, but there are certain things we know very little about and, admittedly, some of that comes from a prideful unwillingness to either ask a few questions or want to know. Don't worry it's not a regional disease. I've found it exists in New York, too. They just call it by another name."
I get asked all the time how we like NY. I find that I hesitate in answering which gives the impression, for some reason, that I don't love it here. The truth is, I am not sure yet. When Paul wrote his letters to the various New Testament churches, he usually did so to correct or teach, but he always started with the positive. As I work through my thoughts I think I will follow his wise example.
I should first point out I live in upstate NY. For those who are not intimately familiar with this state, it is important to differentiate this from living in New York City. These two places share a government and name and not much else. Even the weather can be dramatically different. The upstate primarily consists of small towns, or villages, each with its own story and charm. There is an incredible sense of community in these towns. They support the local schools and businesses. Tradition runs deep in everything from high school football games, despite how many seasons have passed without a win, to burgers and ice cream at the local carhop. Yes, the town I live in has a real carhop complete with a big boy statue, small playground, giant red umbrella-covered tables and a line around the parking lot on the first warm day of spring. The question is when and where, not if, you will go apple picking and what is your favorite way to prepare all this beautiful fruit. Oh, and there are seasons up here! Four distinct, postcard perfect seasons. No more rainy and dry or green and brown. I remember learning about seasons in elementary school and drawing pictures to represent them. What mom does not have a brown paper tree complete with bright tissue paper leaves? Any good movie wishing to show the passing of time will somehow incorporate images of winter, spring, summer and fall. I knew they existed but did not know how much I would enjoy them. Each one for its unique characteristic and personality. Each wonderful because you are just about tired of one weather pattern when a new one takes its place.
Somewhere in the middle of the good and the bad of New York is New York City. Maybe it deserves it's own blog all together. We are just over three hours from this iconic city but it honestly feels like another world. A few months ago we had the opportunity to take a day bus trip to NYC. We eagerly rose early and boarded the bus for a fun filled, busy day in one of the most famous cities in the world. First let me say that while NYC covers a relatively small geographical area it is huge! Everything just seems big, or maybe I just felt small, as soon as we entered "the city". We marveled at Times Square, wandered down Broadway, peaked through the windows of 30 Rock and even took in a Harry Potter exhibit. New York City is not like other cities I have visited. It is insanely busy. Honking horns and people pushing and rushing are just a way of life for those who call this place home. For those of us from somewhere else they leave one with a sense of tense anxiety. I have not held my girls hands crossing streets since they were small. I found myself reaching for them constantly in an effort to reassure myself of their proximity and safety. Even my adventurous Hannah commented that it made her feel "angry" by the end of the day. One of our dream stops was a little burger place we had seen featured on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. We could not wait to see if Guy really had found some of the best burgers and shakes in the city. Finding the place was no problem, thanks to a smart phone and tv restaurant app, but actually enjoying it was something entirely different. First there was a line out the door. This moved along fairly quickly so we decided it was worth the wait. Inside was a whole new world. People actually held on to the chairs of other patrons in an effort to claim a seat. I had never seen such rudeness as an acceptable way of procuring a table. My southern sensibilities also made this impossible for me. I simply could not interrupt someone's meal in this manner. We took our burgers and shakes to go and walked back to Times Square and an available park bench. The burgers were worth the wait! By the time the bus picked us up we were all exhausted and feeling as though we had survived something. New York might take more than a day to really appreciate. I would like to go back at Christmas time and take in the windows. I might have mentioned before I am a bit crazy.
Now to the downside of this duty station. We are no longer a part of a military community. Although there is a small base here we are much more spread out and somehow just disconnected. The majority of our neighbors are natives. They have grown up here and all their family is here. This makes finding new friends and social circles a bit more complicated than we have ever faced before. I have been told that it just takes longer for people to warm up here. Might have something to do with 6 months of winter. I don't find them to be rude, as some believe northerners to be, I just find them established. Southerners tend to be very open, sometimes to the point of too much information, and Northerners are a bit more reserved and private. At least this is my take, for what it is worth. We have also encountered some prejudice involving our educations. There is a very high amount of pride in the local education system and a belief that the south lacks in this area. It did cause some friction with my girls and school but, I think, the teachers and counselors interacting with my kids, are starting to change their views. Refer here back to my opening paragraph.
I suppose, what can be learned from all of this is simply, anywhere has its positive and negatives. It is a lesson any military family should really learn. I could sit and complain about a number of things here in upstate New York. It is no secret this is not where we would have put ourselves given a choice. However, there are things I would have missed out on had we not been stationed here. I never would have sat in a tube and hurtled myself down an icy hill or made and canned homemade applesauce and apple butter. I might never have made it to NYC just to say I have been and add it to my list of major cities. I could sit around and complain but then how would it change anything. I chose to find the beauty, and there is plenty of beauty here in the Adirondacks, and savor the adventure. I do not get to live where I love, but I can chose to love where I live.
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