I recently read a very cute article with tips on dealing with toddlers. It made me think about all the advice we give to new moms or the various resources available to those with young kids. However, somehow we are just supposed to be experts by the time they hit the teen years. After all, at this point we have been moms for going on 13 years. Sometimes a bit less when you consider just how fast our kids are "growing up" these days. The problem is that dealing with teens is a whole new game. I am no expert, as I am currently navigating my way through this new adventure myself, but as a youth leader and observer I have gained some opinions on this subject. These are a few tips based on these observations and are solely my opinion. They are also geared towards the girls, as God saw fit to place daughters in my care.
1) 10 is the new 13. Stop this! Seriously, they are going to grow up fast enough. Encourage some child like behavior and don't give in to the retail pressure.
2) If you are doing your job right they will, at some point, yell they hate you. Take a deep breath and remember they like to eat and will need money soon, so they will love you again in an hour.
3) You are no longer a teenager. Stop dressing like one. You don't have to look like a grandma, but think. Sorry but this is my blog and my opinion.
4) Diaries and journals are private; the internet is not. Kids need some privacy and I encourage them to write out their thoughts and feelings without having to share them with me. Weirdos lurk on the internet and teens do not have fully functional frontal lobes yet. This is a scary combination.
5) Hide your electronics. They will borrow them and they will do things like put pass codes on them which they promptly forget. Resetting your I-Pod touch is a pain.
6) Have cell phone free times. How can you have a family dinner discussion disintegrate into talking about burrito pee if they are too busy chatting with friends to chat with you?
7) Say no to crack. ( I borrowed this from a recent youth conference) Top or bottom teach them to save something for the imagination.
8) Know their friends. I am finding this to be a lot tougher as they get older but still really important. Even if all their names start with A. I like to think I am a big influence in my kids' life but the reality is the friends are often bigger.
9) Be their biggest cheerleader. Go to their sporting events, concerts and awards ceremonies even if they are not the stars. They may say they don't want you there but that is just for appearances. They need and want to know you support them at all times.
10) Let them be teenagers. Expect them to be respectful and responsible but also remember that adulthood will come all too soon. Sometimes it is OK to just be young and silly.
Ephesians 6:1-4 " Children, obey your parents as you would the Lord, because this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise,so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land. Fathers, don't stir up anger in your children but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Communuty
This past month I had the privilege of being part of something amazing, and got a lesson in community at the same time. My freshman participated in an event at her high school that was unlike anything I have ever seen, in person, before.
To really grasp how huge this was I think you need to understand a bit about this place we now live. I would like to take you on a short tour through the Village of South Glens Falls, New York. First, for those of you who are immediately thinking about the city, a little geography lesson. From New York City keep traveling north along I-87, otherwise known as the NY thruway. In about three hours you will reach Albany and the interchange where I-87 meets I-90 towards either Boston or Buffalo. Keep going north. I-87 changes from being the thruway to the northway. Keep going. Around 40 minutes north of Albany you will find exit 17. This comes shortly after seeing signs for Montreal. As you travel north on Route 9, a two lane highway that winds north and south through most of upstate NY, you will notice a few things. You might see the courthouse that is not much more than a converted house and the emergency preparedness store where you can purchase anything from tents to gas masks. Keep in mind that if you traveled two more exits you would have entered the largest national park in the country and could truly get lost in a place that might remind you of a certain old movie involving a famous banjo. Along this mile or so you will see a couple of small gas stations, two modular home dealerships, Fitzgerald's where I had one of my first local meals and the Landmark Inn where I stayed as I was house hunting. These two establishments are directly across the street and during baseball season Fitzgerald's will proudly display their Red Sox flags and banners, while Landmark will fly the largest Yankees windsock I have ever seen. However, come the first weekend in March, they will stand united as South Glens Falls Bulldogs. A few blocks later you will see the small blue sign pointing you towards the high school and the sight of this event we will be revisiting shortly. Keep heading down 9 that will now pass through the Village of South Glens Falls. Don't doze off here or you might miss this sleepy place. It really is not much to see and will take all of 5 minutes to drive through. A few small family establishments such as Maude's Kitchen and the Iron Pig BBQ. Mr. Bill's Carhop is closed right now but in a couple of weeks half the town will be gathered there for burgers, ice cream and some of the best sweet potato fries. There are three pizza places, this is New York after all, a grocery store and a Dunkin' Donuts. Take a slight left at the McDonalds and pass the deli, tattoo parlor, a couple of small restaurants and bars and finally the sign for Cooper's Cave. Cooper's Cave is our claim to fame. This is reported to be one of the caves described in James Cooper's book, The Last of the Mohicans. That is it. You have now seen South Glens Falls. It honestly takes less time to drive through than it did for you to read this description. Why did I take you through all of this? Because I think you need to understand the simplicity of this little town where its kids are coming from. This is not a great big wealthy metropolis. This is, as described to me by a fellow spectator this weekend, Podunk, USA.
South Glens Falls boasts 6 schools. Four elementary, one middle and one high school. All six are the Bulldogs. At first I thought this was a lack of imagination on the part of this area but I know realize the brilliance of the plan. From kindergarten through high school they are Bulldogs. The average graduating class at the high school is somewhere around 230 students. Not the smallest school in the country but certainly not one of the biggest. I never thought my own home town of Melbourne, Florida, was a big place but even we graduated over 500 from two different high schools each year.
Now enter early February in this town and you start to see a place coming together and getting pretty excited to call themselves Bulldogs. The signs start to go up and collection jars appear in local establishments. It is time for the South High Marathon Dance. This tradition started some 35 years ago and was reportedly a disaster. The very first dance raised around $1500 and was never supposed to happen again. There is a very long list of names of people who will tell you they are forever grateful that it did. The premise of Marathon is simple, to raise money for people in our community. All of the funds raised go to locals for anything from wheelchairs, cancer treatments, service dogs and even help for a local teen runaway center. The entire town and a few surrounding all get in on the action. Local restaurants hold fundraising nights, the grocery store has jars available and teens knock on doors to collect money or bottles to recycle. The high school kids are required to raise $150 in order to participate at the dance. They have over a 90% participation rate.
During Marathon weekend there are multiple events taking place within the high school. Everything from raffles, to silent auctions, to hair cuts and food sales. All this will add to the final total late on Saturday night. In the month or so leading up to the dance the kids will be learning choreographed dances for set times and the kids will form teams for the costumes parades and make t-shirts. Finally there is a mass drop off of kids and props and the kick off. Buses will run shuttles from Mr. Bill's, the bowling alley and a local church as no parking is allowed at the high school except by recipients. The excitement in the gym is palpable. One would think, when arriving on Saturday evening, they would find the kids crashed on the floor but they are not. They continue to dance and play. Final ceremonies consist of a lot of thank yous, check presentations and emotional testimonies by recipients. This year included a family whose young son lost his battle after being selected, but prior to the dance. In all there were 35 recipients. By 8pm the gym is packed and by packed I mean the fire marshal is having heart palpitations packed. There are continuous announcements for keeping the doors and aisles clear but people just keep squeezing in closer. If you don't know the person you are standing next to you will by the time you get out of here. Everyone is excited to share their past experiences with this event and were beyond thrilled to find out we were experiencing our first Marathon. The mom sitting next to me handed me tissues at one point and called it a "freshman" mistake that I had not packed my own. I doubt there is dry eye in the room by the time they get around to announcing the total. It is hot, smelly, cramped and none to comfortable sitting on gym bleachers for several hours but no one complains. Tonight we are not individuals. Tonight we are all Bulldogs. On this night I think I really found the pride of being a part of a community. I think it might have been on this night that I first understood what it meant to be not just a resident but a part of a town. Finally the total is tallied and announced amid screams, more tears and confetti. On this night, this 35th anniversary of South High Marathon Dance, the total raised was $395,352.19. Not too shabby for Podunk.
To really grasp how huge this was I think you need to understand a bit about this place we now live. I would like to take you on a short tour through the Village of South Glens Falls, New York. First, for those of you who are immediately thinking about the city, a little geography lesson. From New York City keep traveling north along I-87, otherwise known as the NY thruway. In about three hours you will reach Albany and the interchange where I-87 meets I-90 towards either Boston or Buffalo. Keep going north. I-87 changes from being the thruway to the northway. Keep going. Around 40 minutes north of Albany you will find exit 17. This comes shortly after seeing signs for Montreal. As you travel north on Route 9, a two lane highway that winds north and south through most of upstate NY, you will notice a few things. You might see the courthouse that is not much more than a converted house and the emergency preparedness store where you can purchase anything from tents to gas masks. Keep in mind that if you traveled two more exits you would have entered the largest national park in the country and could truly get lost in a place that might remind you of a certain old movie involving a famous banjo. Along this mile or so you will see a couple of small gas stations, two modular home dealerships, Fitzgerald's where I had one of my first local meals and the Landmark Inn where I stayed as I was house hunting. These two establishments are directly across the street and during baseball season Fitzgerald's will proudly display their Red Sox flags and banners, while Landmark will fly the largest Yankees windsock I have ever seen. However, come the first weekend in March, they will stand united as South Glens Falls Bulldogs. A few blocks later you will see the small blue sign pointing you towards the high school and the sight of this event we will be revisiting shortly. Keep heading down 9 that will now pass through the Village of South Glens Falls. Don't doze off here or you might miss this sleepy place. It really is not much to see and will take all of 5 minutes to drive through. A few small family establishments such as Maude's Kitchen and the Iron Pig BBQ. Mr. Bill's Carhop is closed right now but in a couple of weeks half the town will be gathered there for burgers, ice cream and some of the best sweet potato fries. There are three pizza places, this is New York after all, a grocery store and a Dunkin' Donuts. Take a slight left at the McDonalds and pass the deli, tattoo parlor, a couple of small restaurants and bars and finally the sign for Cooper's Cave. Cooper's Cave is our claim to fame. This is reported to be one of the caves described in James Cooper's book, The Last of the Mohicans. That is it. You have now seen South Glens Falls. It honestly takes less time to drive through than it did for you to read this description. Why did I take you through all of this? Because I think you need to understand the simplicity of this little town where its kids are coming from. This is not a great big wealthy metropolis. This is, as described to me by a fellow spectator this weekend, Podunk, USA.
South Glens Falls boasts 6 schools. Four elementary, one middle and one high school. All six are the Bulldogs. At first I thought this was a lack of imagination on the part of this area but I know realize the brilliance of the plan. From kindergarten through high school they are Bulldogs. The average graduating class at the high school is somewhere around 230 students. Not the smallest school in the country but certainly not one of the biggest. I never thought my own home town of Melbourne, Florida, was a big place but even we graduated over 500 from two different high schools each year.
Now enter early February in this town and you start to see a place coming together and getting pretty excited to call themselves Bulldogs. The signs start to go up and collection jars appear in local establishments. It is time for the South High Marathon Dance. This tradition started some 35 years ago and was reportedly a disaster. The very first dance raised around $1500 and was never supposed to happen again. There is a very long list of names of people who will tell you they are forever grateful that it did. The premise of Marathon is simple, to raise money for people in our community. All of the funds raised go to locals for anything from wheelchairs, cancer treatments, service dogs and even help for a local teen runaway center. The entire town and a few surrounding all get in on the action. Local restaurants hold fundraising nights, the grocery store has jars available and teens knock on doors to collect money or bottles to recycle. The high school kids are required to raise $150 in order to participate at the dance. They have over a 90% participation rate.
During Marathon weekend there are multiple events taking place within the high school. Everything from raffles, to silent auctions, to hair cuts and food sales. All this will add to the final total late on Saturday night. In the month or so leading up to the dance the kids will be learning choreographed dances for set times and the kids will form teams for the costumes parades and make t-shirts. Finally there is a mass drop off of kids and props and the kick off. Buses will run shuttles from Mr. Bill's, the bowling alley and a local church as no parking is allowed at the high school except by recipients. The excitement in the gym is palpable. One would think, when arriving on Saturday evening, they would find the kids crashed on the floor but they are not. They continue to dance and play. Final ceremonies consist of a lot of thank yous, check presentations and emotional testimonies by recipients. This year included a family whose young son lost his battle after being selected, but prior to the dance. In all there were 35 recipients. By 8pm the gym is packed and by packed I mean the fire marshal is having heart palpitations packed. There are continuous announcements for keeping the doors and aisles clear but people just keep squeezing in closer. If you don't know the person you are standing next to you will by the time you get out of here. Everyone is excited to share their past experiences with this event and were beyond thrilled to find out we were experiencing our first Marathon. The mom sitting next to me handed me tissues at one point and called it a "freshman" mistake that I had not packed my own. I doubt there is dry eye in the room by the time they get around to announcing the total. It is hot, smelly, cramped and none to comfortable sitting on gym bleachers for several hours but no one complains. Tonight we are not individuals. Tonight we are all Bulldogs. On this night I think I really found the pride of being a part of a community. I think it might have been on this night that I first understood what it meant to be not just a resident but a part of a town. Finally the total is tallied and announced amid screams, more tears and confetti. On this night, this 35th anniversary of South High Marathon Dance, the total raised was $395,352.19. Not too shabby for Podunk.
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